Sunday, February 05, 2006
today was like a super long day mann..woke up at six cos i had to go see ashley off..he was going back to australia!..haha..n another church friend of mine was migrating..
when my brother came back on dec 19, i was like that guy's gonna be here real long but like before i knew it 6 weeks had past and he was going back..i hate time..
anyway after that i went to church..was suppose to chair the meetin but i was so lost i had no idea what to do..i mean i prayed about it.i thought i could do it..everytime jason wld ask me if i needed help i kept sayin no it was okay..but i was so wrong..n when i ask them like should we do this or that dan would be like i thought you prepared already..ugh..i just cant chair..
dammit..and sometimes i feel happy with the church people..but then again most of the time..i feel so left out..like i dont belong..sometimes i feel like i dont belong anywhere..that maybe i was meant to be some dumbass loner..it sucks..this year ive been getting like vibes from people that they dont want me near them..you know..i just feel that way..
am i thinkin too much?
posted @ 4:20 AM
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Monday, November 21, 2005
the worst thing about working is when you have people calling you 'AUNTY'..
like hello..sometimes i feel like goin' up to them and sayin..you blind or something??do i seriously look that old?i'm only 15 for god's sake!!..haha..but obviously i can't do that..
but its also nice when there are people that actually notice the stupid nametag i have to wear..its just..you know..nice to hear your name..pleasant to the ears..hhah..
haha..went for the weekend trip gig..it was pretty alright...left at like nine?..yeah..and i was waiting for francis for the longest time..n like everytime i was somewhere he only came later..like when i sed i was at cine..he went there later and i was already at plaza at tt time..argh..really wanted to see him..kinda miss him..it has been sooo long since ive seen that joker..oh well..
posted @ 8:23 PM
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
its always times like these when i feel like going to australia.like now.but fuck it.my parents want me to finish my o levels.i'm such a failure here.in everything.i'm not good at anything.australia better be a place for me to start all over.anew.the only thing i'll miss here are my friends.dang.
thank you for the truth.
There is someone out there for me
I know he is waiting so patiently
can you tell me his name?
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane
I'm staring out at the sky
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams
I'll wait forever, however silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?
Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?
Where is this beautiful guy? Who's gonna complete my world?
but whatever the case i still believe in a thing called love.
posted @ 8:49 PM
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Monday, November 14, 2005
this is a pretty old song.just heard it today on the radio.and it like reminds me of my life now.so yeah.
I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind
I ain't trippin I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying You know what I mean
You kept me hanging from a string
Why you make me cry?
Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'd be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you'd call me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool For you
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true I'm stuck on you
Now love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?
i'm not exactly that stuck on him.but still attracted.what am i do?what can i do?
posted @ 8:16 PM
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Tuesday, November 08, 2005
when i thought i had
found someone new,
you left me waiting,
with no call to return.
confused is what i feel.
i like you so much.
had my hopes high
after you said those three words to me.
but it all came crashing down,
when you told me,you didnt know why you said that.
i dont think youre a player.
but really, i dont even know you well at all.
so what am i to do.
should i hold on or give up?
theres friends sayin they see us together.
some tell me to forget about you.
because its not going anywhere.
give me some direction please.
tell me how you really feel.
you seem so reluctant about the answers you give.
save me from my heartache.
you know when people say like oh you two happening huh.i realised its only for that period of time.and then the feelings fade..how could i have been so stupid?..nothing was going to come out of it..
posted @ 3:50 PM
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Sunday, November 06, 2005
today was st annes confirmation.so yeah.went for it with priss holly chloe avery ken keith n joey.yepp.went for like cheryl andrea lynn eunice averil..lots of ppl huh..all of em looked like angels..haha..after that we like went out of church cos it was soo crowded n we saw rene irwin alethea yeah with their ihm grp..i think theyre called sa suh belas..sth like tt..yeah..so we all went in to see the comfirmands..and yeah..hung ard for a while..then like went to hardrock cafe for lunch..shared some stuff with priss n cheryl..cos i felt super pai seh..yeah..e parents like paid for us..then we walked from forum to far east..oh yeh..there were these blown up scenic pictures..haha..like along the whole stretch of orchard..we all actually appreciated it..i think..haha..
really happy..like i dont have to work on sundays anymore..cos i told boh my dad didnt allow..but its true..n i only need to work four times a wk..haha!..at least i have like 3 days of rest..gd enough..i think..
posted @ 6:43 PM
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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
somehow i regret going to work.like its taking so much of my time!!and like on sat i had a chance to go out with irwin but because i was friggin doing double shifts,i couldnt..and ave had a halloween party last night but i couldnt go too cos i was workin night shift.like shit!and now i have to memorise the menu!because im taking ordders..its so not easy.i have no time to come online.and the only music i can listen to is pop cos thats the only thing they play there.now im listening to allistar--sonewhere on fullerton..and its soo good..
does he really feel the same as what i feel for him?
posted @ 12:35 PM
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